Sunday, April 13, 2003

Praised be Miramax. Praised be Weinstein.

"I am pleased to bring Mohammed's skills to Miramax," Harvey Weinstein said via videophone. "I've been watching him and I am honored that he's joining our company."

Al-Sahhaf, who will be based in Miramax's new Baghdad office, got off to a quick start declaring, "The Academy Awards were blocked by the international gang of criminal bastards DreamWorks and Focus." When asked to elaborate, he added, "Marty Scorsese and Daniel Lewis won the Oscars, not the infidels Polanski and Brody. God is grilling their golden statuettes in hell."

Al-Sahhaf, 63, was the Iraq Information Minister since 2001. Before that, he was Iraqi Foreign Minister for eight years.

Referring to the recently released Gwyneth Paltrow film A View From The Top, Al-Sahhaf said as an artillery shell landed only yards away, "[The box office grosses] are all wrong. We blocked the film inside theaters. The movie is grossing $25 million dollars a day and is now more than $250 billion. You can go see for yourself." He blamed the deflated box office reporting on, "the infidels Bush, Katzenberg and Colin Farrel."

(Unknown origin, but quoted by Eugene Volokh, who also posted the rest of it).

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