Making Australia appear to be the pinnacle of civilization

Australian fast bowler Dennis Lillee - a very great cricketer - once greeted Queen Elizabeth II with a simple "G'day". Straight to the point, and so much more stylish than this.

Of course, one of the key skills of being Queen or King of England is being able to keep a straight face when people say, do, or wear deeply bizarre things in your presence. The present incumbent is I think magnificent at not being rattled by anything. I had a short conversation with Prince Edward at a drinks party once. I can't for the life of me remember what I said, although I am fairly sure I didn't call him "Your Royal Highness", or even "Sir". Just a fairly standard "Very pleased to meet you" type introduction followed by a little light conversation, if I remember correctly.